Well, we didn't actually make a decision. It was sort of made for us. We waited to hear from our agency and never did, so our fingerprints have expired. I highly doubt that we will pursue our dream any further. At this point, if we were to continue, we would have to have our home study updated, our daughter fingerprinted by the local police and then all 4 of us would have to be fingerprinted for clearance to bring an orphan into the country. That adds up to lots more $$ that we just don't have.
This has been a hard day for me once I realized that this was happening. You see, I had picked out the song that we were going to have sung at our children's dedication (our dd was going to sing it). I heard it today while I was listening to my favorite CD. It was then that I realized that my dream of adopting had come to an end. Well, not the dream really, just the realization that we wouldn't be adopting.
It's a difficult thing to think about, but God knows what is best for our family. I still believe that there are children in Zambia that would benefit from the love and nurture that we could give them, but it's just not to be. At least not now. And since we aren't getting any younger . . . well, you get the idea.
If for some reason things change drastically, I'll be back with that news. But for now, this blog is just going to sit here without any updates. It's my journal of our road to adoption and that will never change.
Thanks for following along on this journey with me. I have appreciated all of you that have prayed for us and stuck by us. Thanks, too, to the many of you that have donated $$ to help us in this journey. I hope that you don't think that your money was wasted. We can't control the outcome; we can only do what God leads us to do. In that regard we have learned much!
We love all of you!
Carolyn
This has been a hard day for me once I realized that this was happening. You see, I had picked out the song that we were going to have sung at our children's dedication (our dd was going to sing it). I heard it today while I was listening to my favorite CD. It was then that I realized that my dream of adopting had come to an end. Well, not the dream really, just the realization that we wouldn't be adopting.
It's a difficult thing to think about, but God knows what is best for our family. I still believe that there are children in Zambia that would benefit from the love and nurture that we could give them, but it's just not to be. At least not now. And since we aren't getting any younger . . . well, you get the idea.
If for some reason things change drastically, I'll be back with that news. But for now, this blog is just going to sit here without any updates. It's my journal of our road to adoption and that will never change.
Thanks for following along on this journey with me. I have appreciated all of you that have prayed for us and stuck by us. Thanks, too, to the many of you that have donated $$ to help us in this journey. I hope that you don't think that your money was wasted. We can't control the outcome; we can only do what God leads us to do. In that regard we have learned much!
We love all of you!
Carolyn
3 comments:
Oh Carolyn, I am so very, very sad for you. As weird as it sounds, we have been in your position twice before. When we were in the process to adopt from Romania, the country closed before we were able to receive a referral. At that point, we were going through Don's transplant stuff and then he was fired from the church in the midst of it all. Then we moved to PA and started over. Then we started the process to adopt from Cambodia. Cambodia closed while we were waiting. It was soooo hard. I still believe we have a child in Cambodia who will someday join our family. This is really hard because 8 years later, Cambodia is still closed to US adoptions.
Then when we moved back to CA, we were in process with a domestic adoption of a biracial baby boy who was to be born. He died of a brain tumor before he was born. I was devastated. I wondered how God would birth the dream of adoption in my heart and head, and yet it would be dashed so many times.
By the time we were able to adopt Ahnalin from China, I was so in shock that we finally had our baby in our arms. Of course, I realized that it was all God's plan. But each time it seemed to be harder and harder to face the let down. I wondered if I truly heard from God each time. But I know we did and it was all part of the journey.
So I am praying for you Carolyn, that God would heal your heart and give you peace. I do not know what God's plans are for your family but I do pray that your dream of adoption will come true. I am not ready to give up on your dream. So when you do not have the strength to believe, just rest and let others believe for you.
In His Grace,
Sivje
Praying for you Carolynn. I am so sorry but I am trusting in the big plan that God has for you. He will bring it all together...wait and see and in the meantime we will walk with you. Again, I am so sorry for your hurt.
I am sorry to hear this. I remember when we came to the realization that we had to stop holding out hope for Zambia and start over. It was a time to grieve. The Lord, however, accomplishes his purposes and so you never know how the Lord may use you for the orphans whether through adoption internationally or locally or even as a voice to speak out for orphan ministries.
Take care,
Joy
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